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Instead, they just leave the noun out completely like it was all just too much work to think about. We are incredibly lucky to live in a world in which 'Game Of Thrones' exists. The machines they are discussing, by the way, are essentially sexualized jackhammers. It seems like there should be some sort of rule that masturbation aids never require you to pour in more maintenance than an actual relationship. Soren is a Senior Writer for Cracked.

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Add me to the weekly Newsletter. Their patience threshold is enviable. For a group of people who have no problem hiking up their metaphorical skirts and exposing all of their deepest crotch secrets to Internet strangers, they sure are bashful about divulging their relationship status.